EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ... BUT WISH YOU HADN'T ASKED by an Indo-German newspaper columnist

I cannot concentrate on my studies. After studying I get up, about one-two hours later, I forget everything. What should I do?
–Bhavika Singh, Chapra

You should stop worrying so much about forgetting everything: otherwise you certainly will forget. When you worry, your conscious mind interferes with the subconscious, which absorbs and processes the matter you’re mugging. Try to be more relaxed while studying, and remember that even if you fail, you won’t die (and even if you die, at least people will say nice things about you at your funeral). Breathe normally and don’t tense your muscles like a corpse. Also, don’t study for more than half an hour without resting for at least two minutes.

What is the full form of EST (where technical English is concerned)?
–Kamal Bhattacharya, Bagrakote

EST may represent either of two technical terms. The first is English for Science and Technology, for teaching students and professionals to improve their use of the language in those fields. The second is Electric Shock Treatment, which induces seizures in psychiatric patients (and, as we keep reading in the papers, is still used by well-intentioned teachers on Indian students who refuse to improve.)

I hope you have heard that in Japan many types of cosplays are performed on the basis of some animes. I want to know in the cosplay of the manga series Naruto why is his character being interpreted by a girl? Can you post a picture of the cosplayers?
–Suchismita Dey, Kolkata

Such cosplays–or costume plays–focus on the characters, and not necessarily their original story. If females play male roles, or vice versa, the cosplay becomes a ‘crossplay’. Naruto, like many manga characters, is drawn as a so-called bishonen or ‘beautiful (somewhat feminine) boy’, so it’s all the more fitting. In fact, your name sounds a bit like Shikamaru (the intelligent but lazy guy in that series), so maybe it’s time for you to get off your butt and act, charming the audience with an innovative portrayal of him. (Unless of course you look like a butoko.)

Many labourers come to work to earn money but some of them are being cheated by us. What is the reason?
–Srinidhi Ramakrishnan, Chennai

The Contract Labour Regulation and Abolition Act of 1970 is supposed to protect non-permanent labourers, ensuring a minimum wage and benefits for them. The reason they get cheated is that the law isn’t implemented. There has been collusion between employers and labour inspectors. However, if the labourers were bosses (and bosses were labourers), you can be sure they’d do the same thing if they could get away with it. Such is human nature, and you are labouring under a misconception if you think otherwise. There are very few gracious people like you who would put their hand up and help others–and among those who’ve tried it, many are now left stretching that hand out in the street.

In what state of India did computers come first?
–Kalicharan Shaw, Kolkata
 
India’s first ‘true’ computer, an HEC-2M, was imported to the ISI in Calcutta, West Bengal, in 1955; and installed (over months) in an air-conditioned space of hundreds of square feet. It had a drum memory of 1024 words, which doesn’t even add up to two of my columns. (Now please don’t say that’s the best thing about it!)

Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com

Why do newborn babies cry just after the delivery?
–Tania Basu, Kolkata

Anyone would cry on entering this messed-up world for the first time. Also, a newborn baby must start breathing on its own, and crying is a way of forcing air through the respiratory tract. Doctors often encourage newborns to breathe by rubbing or tapping them, or suctioning excess fluid out of the tract. Earlier they used to slap babies to start them crying. But Henny Youngman once said of himself, “I was so ugly when I was born that the doctor slapped my mother.”

What is gravitational force?
–Abhigyan Das, Duliajan

There is no such thing as gravitational force. Newton’s law described it as a force of attraction between any two bodies with mass. Einstein’s theory of general relativity explains how the ‘attraction’ is merely the curvature of space-time around mass, which causes bodies to move–or ‘roll’, if you favour far-fetched layman’s language–in a specific direction. I hope this explanation has been simple enough. If you still don’t understand why curves seem to cause attraction, just take a look at a pretty girl. You will soon conclude that there is some mysterious physical attraction (though if you think about it, you’ll realize what you’re after is a roll in the sack).

Are Cardcaptors, Chronicles of the Wings and xxxHolic related in any way? Are they related character-wise? Please post a picture of Sakura Avalon.
–Betsy Worthington, London

The first of those series is supposed to take place in a different universe or ‘reality’, though the latter two have many crossovers. But keep in mind Kaho Mizuki’s pronouncement in Cardcaptors that there are no coincidences, “only hitsuzen (or inevitability)”. At any rate, in OUR universe the three are very closely related, being created by the girl gang of manga artists called Clamp. Then again even Clamp’s characters have been known to change (for example the main storyteller Nanase Ohkawa became Ageha Ohkawa for several years), so who knows–maybe there really is something to the parallel-reality theory.

Do you still think men are from Mars and women hail from Venus? (What I mean is that in this day and age, do you think this still holds true?)
–Shiuli Dutt Dey, Kolkata

Look, I’m a man. You expect me to understand women? Forget Mars and Venus: I’m just happy that women tolerate us enough to stay with us on earth. However, I can tell you male and female brains are structurally and functionally different. For instance, men use more grey matter (for processing information) when thinking, and women more white matter (for integrating information). Thus, men often have good mathematical skills, women good language skills, and so on. Yet the old system of natural selection by discrimination has started disappearing, so I expect eventually men and women will appear almost exactly the same. And frankly I’m content to live in THIS day and age where we can still tell the difference.

Is Pakistan lying on the 26/11 attack?
–KR Ramakrishnan, Madurai

To tell the truth, all governments lie (and ours is no exception). However at least the Pakistan government are now lying less to themselves, and realizing that terrorism hurts everyone. Fighting the insurgents of Swat isn’t like swatting flies, and is giving them their fair share of hardship.

Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com

Why are the Himalayas called young fold mountains?
–Soumyajit Mukherjee, Kolkata

‘Young’ is obviously a relative term, here. They began forming more than 40 million years ago, which makes them much older than any human being except Madonna. However, they are among the world’s youngest ‘fold’ mountains, having been created by the crumpling of the earth’s crust when the Indian continental plate collided with the rest of Asia. Mount Everest may not be earth’s highest mountain ever; but the old contenders have eroded and shrunk like Kirk Douglas (with his ancient folds).

People say school life is better than college life. Is it true?
–Madhurima Mukherjee, Choudwar

In college you have more freedom: to study what and when you want, and to party whenever and however (depending on the philanthropy of your parents). There are usually more interesting people to meet, and discoveries to make. Some students fail to strike the right balance, and end up doing badly in life. Yet if you are able to handle the responsibility that comes with freedom, then college is probably better. Of course, there are some colleges where academic pressure is so high that you begin to miss your schooldays where you could scrape through most classes almost without studying.

Who or what is Miroku? Can you post a picture of him/her/it? This much I know: it is an anime character.
–Pooja Das, Kolkata

In the anime/manga series InuYasha, Miroku is a Buddhist monk–but not a very good one. He cheats and steals, gropes women and tries to make them bear his heir. He wants this heir for an air tunnel, or rather a Wind Tunnel in his hand, which he inherited from his grandfather and must continue fighting: it has the power to suck up most things including demons; but expands with use (a problem those women might know about) such that his dad and granddad died by their own hand. He must also defeat the evil Naraku. Miroku literally means the ‘Coming Buddha’ in Japanese, but I think in this sleazy character’s case that title would mean something else entirely.

Can we store electricity and use it later?
–Argha Mario Mallick, Krishnagar

Electricity can be stored in a capacitor, consisting of two conducting plates separated by a non-conductor. Electrons collect at the negative plate, and can be used later. However it’s not yet practical to store electricity on a large scale; and usually energy is stored in other forms such as chemical fuels, which may be converted into electrical energy when required. It sounds very simple on paper–until you realize that all too often we’re getting nothing for our requirements these days. I hope you remembered to store some electrolytes as well–and didn’t get dehydrated during the power cuts this summer.

Naruto was an anime show, that was aired on the channel Cartoon Network. I want to know why the channel stopped airing the show after finishing the 26th episode.
–Piyali Dhar, Kolkata

These things depend on Cartoon Network’s TV ratings and plans in the US. For example, Naruto was cancelled when CN’s Toonami block of cartoons was shut down over there. They don’t seem to have a proper system here yet: but when they finally do, loyal fans like you will become more than rubbernecks twisting in the wind.

Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com

Why are South African called Proteas?
–Kumar Khawas, Siliguri

In the apartheid era, South Africa’s White sports team were called Springboks, after a type of (brown) antelope which is the country’s national animal. When the redneck era ended, it was decided to name the browner teams after the (red-and-white) king protea, which is South Africa’s national flower. If it were up to me I would have chosen their national bird, the blue crane, or their national tree, the yellowwood; because then neither brown nor white people could have complained.

After winning any tennis championship, Rafael Nadal is often seen biting the trophy with his teeth. Is it customary?
–Subhayu Saha, Berhampore

At the moment he’s only gnashing his teeth, after biting the dust on clay courts at the French Open for the first time ever. Biting is not a customary practice among athletes, who prefer to tenderly kiss trophies, but has become Nadal’s trademark: photographers request him to do it. It isn’t to test whether the trophy is genuine, or because he has an iron deficiency or anything like that.

Who is Danny Phantom? Post his picture.
–Akash Sarkar, Kolkata

Danny Fenton is the son of Jack and Madeline Fenton, who hate ghosts and are always searching for ways to destroy them. Predictably there is an accident in the laboratory, and their own son becomes a half-ghost. The only fortunate thing is that his human name sounds a lot like Phantom, making it easy to choose a cool one for his alter ego. Can you imagine if his last name had been Ghosh (‘Danny Ghost’) or Lecter (‘Danny Spectre’) or Sarkar (‘Danny Starkers’)? Anyway, he doesn’t tell Jack and Madeline, because getting dissected by one’s parents (outside analysis) is no fun. He remains a good boy who spends his time dispatching and expelling ghosts (in a non-egestive way). The Emmy-winning series gave up the ghost in 2007.

Do you think live-in relationships are actually ‘bad’ as termed by the Indian society? What are the pros and cons?
–Ria Sen, Kolkata

No matter what you do, some sections of society will says it’s bad and others that it’s good. Ultimately you must decide how important others’ opinions are to your happiness. The main advantage of live-in relationships is that they give partners a chance to explore their compatibility before attempting marriage, while retaining the right to walk out without lengthy proceedings; the main disadvantage is also this right to leave unceremoniously, creating insecurity and perhaps a lack of effort to resolve small problems–plus, without those lengthy proceedings it’s hard to get the other person’s money and property to party with. Keep in mind that for obvious reasons guys may tell you live-ins are absolutely proper, even if they think the opposite.

There is so much pain and problems in love. But still people fall in love. Why?
–Rusa Ghosh, Bandel

Man is a social animal. Love has survival value for society as a whole, as it ties members together: in particular, it enables partners to jointly raise human children, those annoying little things which take a terribly long time to mature. We are programmed to fall in love, whether we like it or not. Thus even though it’s a painful thing for most of us, it will continue as long as society exists.

Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com

Why do all cell phone numbers begin with ‘9’?
–Heba Ahmed, Kolkata
 
Most cell numbers don’t begin with a nine. However they do in India, as that is the country’s mobile telephone code. It’s also the code for some other countries like Burma/Myanmar–although in that oppressive land if you mention ‘cell numbers’ you’re quite likely referring to the hospitality sector for ‘guests of the state’.
 
Is there definite proof that Marco Polo was in China, especially since he never mentioned the Great Wall of China? Did he bring back knowledge about noodles from China or was that an Italian invention?
–Suresh Mahto, Kolkata
 
The Great Wall was a Small Wall in those days. In fact there was no continuous wall, but scattered fortifications, mostly of earth and wood; besides the ruins of a 1,400-mile wall built 1,500 years earlier by the first Qin emperor. The present Great Wall was built by the Mings, no kin of the Qins, hundreds of years later. So though Mr. Polo told lots of lies–such as his claim of helping to save Kublai Khan’s keister with military advice–his other descriptions of China prove beyond reasonable doubt that he was there. Also Chinese noodles are at least 4,000 years old; but pasta was known before Polo’s travels: so if there was any influence it was only in stretching it like the wall.
 
I have heard that a new season of Winx Club has been released (that is season 4). Is that true? If it is true can you tell me about the storyline and also post a picture?
–Shreya Deb, Kolkata
 
In season four of Winx Club, they are coming to a planet near you. The gay fays’ mission is to prove to Roxy, the earth’s last fairy–and to others–that Roxy really is a fairy. (For those unfamiliar with the show, this is not a case of ‘outing’.) They must protect her from the Black Circle’s wizards who stole the earth’s magic and made people disbelieve. The season premiered last month in Italy. (Where else would you find ladies battling evil in high heels?)
 
Why is black money so called?
–Shiuli Dutt Dey, Kolkata
 
All money is black in the sense that it’s dirty; but the kind you’re asking about is illegal income unreported to the government. Its name probably came from its hidden and shadowy nature, in contrast to ‘white’ money which (briefly) sees the light of day before being swallowed up by the government.
 
I wonder why despite all the advancements in technology a pan has still not been designed such that you can pour the fluid into a receptacle, without spilling it. Every time I make tea I face this pouring problem.
–Ashish Rai, New Delhi
 
Pans with lips or spouts are indeed available. There’s not much of a market for them in India. Meanwhile the McDonald’s Hot Coffee Case, where the American company was forced to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars when a lady spilled hot coffee on her lap, is unlikely to be repeated here by our pan barons before pans sprout spouts or the Chinese give up chopsticks: so do be careful.

Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com

Why do frogs jump?
–Marisha Mitra, Kolkata

Frogs are excellent jumpers. The main advantage of this is that it helps them to escape quickly from snakes and other predators. The longest leap ever logged by a frog is 20 feet and five-and-three-quarter inches, by an athletic American bullfrog named Rosie the Ribiter. Even Olympic athletes might have a tough time if they tried to get cosy with Rosie.

What is the difference between a politician and a dacoit/thief/goonda?
–Madhurima Mukherjee, Choudwar

Goondas, dacoits and gangsters are potential politicians. They have a long way to go, and lots of goondagiri to do, before qualifying as honourable lawmakers. And even this doesn’t necessarily put an end to their criminal activities: in India, for instance, 150 Members of Parliament are facing criminal cases.

Why is Florence Nightingale called ‘The Lady of the Lamp’?
–Anwesha Saha, Kolkata

Only since you gave her that name. Others know her as ‘The Lady WITH the Lamp’. The pioneering nurse was first leashed to her lamp in a letter to The Times newspaper in 1854, describing her work till late at night during the Crimean War, where she permanently changed the standard of nursing and hygiene in military hospitals. Later H. W. Longfellow called her ‘A lady with a lamp’. This changed to the more specific ‘The Lady with the Lamp’. And who knows, maybe following YOUR letter to this newspaper her name will be changed again.

Who is Taylor Swift? Why is he/she so famous? Can you post a picture of Taylor Swift?
–Suchismita Dey, Kolkata

Taylor Swift is not a sewing machine, but a singer. (No, not a Singer either.) She is 19 years old, writes most of her own country and pop songs, and last year sold more albums in the US than any other recording artist. She almost won the year’s Best New Artist award, but lost that Grammy to a granny named Amy Winehouse.

Why and how did the recession period actually come into being?
–Parag Mazumdar, Agartala

According to the US National Bureau of Economic Research, their recession began in December 2007 when employment started falling, and other economic indicators soon declined as well. Economic activity in many other countries also decreased. The main cause of this global recession was the bursting of the American housing market bubble, where millions of people were unable to pay back the easy loans they had received. Big international investors had got involved in the high-interest ‘subprime’ market, and everyone was in trouble when the bubble turned to rubble.

In which Nancy Drew book did the famous detective Nancy Drew first meet Ned Nickerson?
–Piyali Dhar, Kolkata

The famous fictional detective Nancy Drew meets him in The Clue In The Diary, published in 1932–although he shows up at an earlier age in later books, and in earlier books that were later revised. (This is a mystery she ought to investigate.) Despite becoming her boyfriend Nickerson never gets in her knickers, and the most they ever do is a bit of innocent kissing (after more than 50 years of friendship), etc.

Didn’t the Steelers kick the Cardinals’ ass?
–Sherri Moreland, Dunkirk, NY

Actually they concentrated more on kicking and carrying the football; which is why the Pittsburgh Steelers won this year’s Super Bowl of American football against the Arizona Cardinals.

Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com