My best friend’s girlfriend ditched him recently. He is very upset and depressed and is taking sleeping pills at night without telling his parents. Though I’m forbidding him to do so, he is not listening to my words. What can I do? Please help me.
–Oindrila Ghosh, Kolkata
Sleeping pills have side effects. However, at least they’re not life-threatening unless taken in large doses, or in combination with substances like alcohol which increase their absorption. If he’s taking them to sleep for the night, and not for eternity, then it’s not quite so bad. Consider reporting his pill intake to someone who could stop him. Instead of pretending everything is fine, say you realize he’s feeling miserable, but remind him that just about everyone goes through this and recovers–and that his other friends and family are always there when he needs them. Allow him to ‘cry himself out’, but also encourage him to exercise or find some activities to keep his mind and body busy. You might want to tell stories about his ex-girlfriend which he doesn’t know or remember: such as that she often does stupid things or picks her nose, etc. Tell him he deserves someone better than her. But whether that better person should be yourself is something I can’t comment on.
My daughter is five-and-a-half years old and is a student of class 1 in an English medium school. She is very interested in drawing. She has already done well in the Sit and Draw competition in her age group. Could you suggest some books or web sites or magazines that can help her in upgrading her skill in colour composition and drawing ability? Could you also please tell me some books or magazines or web sites that can help her to improve her problem solving ability and command over language?
–Debasish Chakraborty
You can learn drawing and colouring techniques at sites like drawspace.com. For more, try the book How to Teach Art to Children by Tanya Skelton. For language and problem-solving skills, a helpful guide to educational sites is refdesk.com/kids.html. Apart from this, it’s good to encourage children to read ANYTHING. Get her the books that interest HER, not the boring ones you feel she should be forced to read. For example, if you think comics are stupid but she likes them, then your fogeyish opinions must be ignored. And if you can introduce her to interesting ‘educational’ shows of the Sesame Street variety, so much the better.
I understand that your column can tell me everything I wanted to know, but why do I have to wish that I had never asked?
–Janhabi Mukherjee, Kolkata
Because I’m quite likely to make fun of you. For example: couldn’t you think of a better question? Don’t you have a sufficient sense of humour to see that the title is a spoof on all the ‘Everything You Wanted To Know…’ articles and essays that keep appearing everywhere? Surely you’ve heard of the famous sex manual by Dr. David Reuben, published in 1969 (somehow an appropriate date), called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)? Or the comedy of the same name by Woody Allen (whose first name is equally appropriate)? Now, don’t you wish you hadn’t asked? Well, okay, actually your question does make sense, and I hope it’s been answered now.
Questions may be sent to burythequestion@gmail.com