Last impressions matter too. The corpse is usually the best-dressed one at his funeral.
BURIED IN BLUE
A widow took a look at her dear departed one just before his funeral and, to her horror, found that he was dressed in his brown suit. She had specifically told the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his best blue suit, which she had brought especially for that occasion; and was distressed that he had been left in the same brown suit he’d been wearing when the truck struck him. She demanded that the corpse be changed into the blue suit. The undertaker said, “But madam! It’s only a minute or two until the funeral is scheduled to begin! We can’t possibly take him out and get him changed in that amount of time!”
The lady said, “Who’s paying for this? Do whatever it takes!” So the very reluctant undertaker wheeled the coffin out. A few moments later, he wheeled it right back in. Miraculously, the corpse was in a blue suit.
After the ceremony, a well-satisfied widow complimented the undertaker on the smooth and speedy service. She wanted to know how he’d been able to get her husband changed so fast. The funeral director said, “Oh, there simply wasn’t enough time. It happened that there was another body in the back room and he was already dressed in a blue suit. There was only one thing I could do: I had to switch heads.”
FOLLOWING A STAR
A rock star is stopped by a man in the street, who says, “Oh, is it really you? For months I’ve been following all your concerts. They’ve been rather poorly attended, right?”
“Not at all! They’ve all been sold out!” replies the star.
“But your last album didn’t sell very well, did it?”
“On the contrary! It sold over a million copies! But as a fan of mine, why are you asking such strange questions?”
“Fan?” says the man. “No, I’ve been reviewing your returns at the income tax office.”
DEAL WITH THE DEVIL
The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer. “I can arrange some things for you,” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income fivefold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls burn in hell for eternity.”
The lawyer thought for a moment, and finally asked, “What’s the catch?”
JOKE OF THE WEEK
by Mita Sen
On a ship, many people were standing. Suddenly a small girl fell down into the water. Everybody was shocked, but nobody tried to save the girl. Then, wearing a suit, a Sardarji jumped into the water. The Sardarji easily saved the girl. The people who were watching appreciated the Sardarji, and some of them put garlands on his neck. They arranged a party to welcome him. Most of them asked the Sardarji to say something. Then the Sardarji said, “What shall I say? I want to know who was the man who pushed me!”
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