You can’t really say America’s health care system is in better shape than India’s. Because ours is in no shape at all.
BAD NEWS
After her husband’s checkup, a woman was called into the doctor’s office. The doctor told her, “Your husband has a serious disease. There are several things you’ll have to do for him, or he will surely die.”
“What do I have to do?” asked the wife.
“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant to him. Make him a nutritious lunch for work, and an especially nice meal for his dinner. Don’t give him chores, or that will increase his stress. Don’t discuss your problems with him either. Try to relax him in the evenings by giving him back rubs. Let him watch his favourite sports on TV. And most importantly, satisfy his every whim. If you do these things for the next 10 to 12 months, I think he’ll pull through.”
On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
She answered, “He said that you’re going to die.”
BAD STUTTER
A big muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”
Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.
The guy asks several more times: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”
And the clerk just seems to ignore him.
Finally, the guy storms off in anger.
The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy asks the clerk, “Why didn’t you answer that poor guy’s question?”
The clerk replies, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?”
CAREFUL CRAFTSMEN
A tourist visits a temple in Thailand. The tour guide shows him around and informs him, “It took four years of work just to paint the ceiling!”
“Tell me about it!” the tourist says sympathetically. “We had the same problem with the painters when they did our house.”
SLIP THROUGH
David James, the Portsmouth and England goalkeeper, is so distraught after his latest blunder that he decides to end it all. He walks straight out of Wembley Stadium and throws himself in front of a bus. Luckily, it passes under him.
JOKE OF THE WEEK
by Hans Well
A promising candidate was interviewed for a job, and later invited for dinner at the boss’s palatial home.
The boss offered him a drink. The candidate accepted it and asked, “And what about you, sir?”
“I don’t drink,” replied the boss. “I tried it once; didn’t like it; never did it again!”
Later the candidate was offered a cigarette. Again he asked, “But what about you, sir?”
“I don’t smoke. Tried it once; didn’t like it; never did it again.”
After some more time they were joined by a young man. The boss said, “Allow me to introduce my son!”
The candidate said, “Your only son, I presume?”
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