When a dentist says he must perform an extraction, don’t let him see your wallet.
THE SCOTSMAN AND THE DENTIST
A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much it would cost to have a tooth pulled.
“Four pounds,” replies the dentist.
“And how much is it without anaesthetic?”
“Two pounds.”
“Do it WITH anaesthetic, please!”
The dentist administers the anaesthetic and asks the Scotsman to wait outside until it takes effect.
After ten minutes the dentist looks for the Scotsman, but he has disappeared.
A few days later the dentist meets a colleague. The colleague tells the following story: “I recently had a patient who had his tooth extracted without anaesthetic, and never flinched! I believe the brave man was a Scotsman.”
THE SCOTSMAN AND THE DENTIST (CHEAPER VERSION)
A Scotsman went to the dentist and asked the cost of an extraction.
“$85 for an extraction, sir,” was the dentist’s reply.
“Och huv ye no’ got anythin’ cheaper?”
“That’s the normal charge for an extraction, sir.”
“What about if you didn’t use any anaesthetic?” asked the Scotsman.
“Well it’s highly unusual, but if that’s what you want, I suppose I could do it for $70.”
“Hm… what about if you used one of your trainee dentists and still without anaesthetic?” continued the Scotsman.
“Well, it’s possible, but they are only training and I can’t guarantee their professionalism. It would be painful, but I suppose in that case the price could drop to, say, $40,” said the dentist.
“What if you make it a training session and have one student do the extraction with the other students watching and learning?”
“It would be good for the students, I suppose,” mulled the dentist. “I’ll charge you only $5 in that case…. But it will be traumatic!”
“Och now yer talkin’!” said the Scotsman. “Can you book the wife in for next Tuesday then?”
AT THE RACES
At the race course, a visitor notices a man who is collecting the horse droppings on the track.
“What are you going to do with them?” he asks.
“I’m going to take them home and spread them on the strawberries,” the man replies.
“That’s odd. We usually put sugar on ours.”
THIEF IN THE KITCHEN
Wife: “Look! A thief has entered our kitchen and now he’s eating the cake I baked!”
Husband: “Whom should I call, the police or the ambulance?”
OH, BROTHER!
Q. When a girl slips and falls, why won’t her brother help her up?
A. Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.
PETROL PUMP
A Sardarji opened a petrol pump, but not a single customer went there. Do know why?
Because he opened his petrol pump on the second floor.
READER’S JOKE OF THE WEEK
by Ashish Rai
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.–Bill Watterson
Jokes may be sent to jokesonthyself@gmail.com