If you’re a sour old guy, and a sweet young girl gets friendly with you, she may just be after the bulge in your pocket.
$25 WON’T BUY MUCH
George and Harriet decided to celebrate their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel, a sweet young woman dressed in a short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, “George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude!”
“Harriet, she’s a prostitute!”
“I don’t believe you. That sweet young thing?”
“Let’s go up to our room and I’ll prove it.”
In their room, George called the desk and asked for ‘Bambi’ to come to room 1217. “Now,” he said, “you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?” Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips. George asked, “How much do you charge?”
“$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services.” Even George was taken aback. “$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25.” Bambi laughed derisively. “You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price!”
“Well,” said George, “I guess we can’t do business. Goodbye.” After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom and said, “I just can’t believe it!” George said, “Let’s forget it. We’ll go have a drink, then eat dinner.”
At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, “See what you get for $25?”
HEARSAY
During a trial, the judge warns the accused: “You are only allowed to tell us what you have seen, and not what you know from hearsay!”
The accused replies, “Yes, Your Honour.”
“Now,” says the judge. “What is you date of birth?”
The accused remains silent. The judge asks again, “When were you born?”
“I’m not allowed to tell. I only know that from hearsay!”
HITTING THE BOTTLE
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her five-year-old daughter to answer. It was their local priest.
The child spoke into the receiver, “Mommy can’t come to the phone right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
FINE FOR DRINKING
A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge said, “You’ve been brought here for drinking!”
The drunk said, “Okay, let’s get started.”
THUMB IN SOUP
Customer: “Waiter, your thumb’s in my soup!”
Waiter: “That’s all right, sir. It’s not very hot.”
JOKE OF THE WEEK
by Indranuj Chatterjee, Kolkata
One day Rabin was travelling in a bus. He was standing, one hand holding the handle and one hand with a bag. When the conductor asked about his ticket, Rabin said that both his hands were engaged, so he could not take out the money for the ticket; but he could do that if the conductor held the handle for the time being.
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