A dog is man’s best friend. This proves they’re not the smartest creatures on earth.
TRAINED CHIHUAHUA
A man walks into his back yard one morning and finds a gorilla sitting in a tree. So he checks the yellow pages for a gorilla removal service and phones them.
“Is it a boy or girl gorilla?” the service guy asks.
“Boy,” is the man’s response.
“Okay, I can do it. I’ll be right there.”
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs, and a shotgun. He gives the man some instructions: “Now listen carefully! I’m going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls to the ground. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla’s testicles off. The gorilla will then instinctively cross his hands in front of him, allowing you to slap the handcuffs on him.”
“Got it,” says the man. “But what’s the gun for?”
The service guy replies, “If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, shoot the Chihuahua!”
SECRET OF LONG LIFE
Two wrinkled women were rocking in their chairs and talking. The first one asked, “What’s the secret of your long life?”
The second replied, “I’ve never smoked, never touched a drop of alcohol, and had limited contact with strangers. I’ve also chosen my food carefully. I’ll be 95 years old this year. And what about you?”
“Oh, I’ve smoked three packs a day all my life, drunk a crate of whisky a week, taken part in wild orgies every night, and my meals have basically consisted of pizza and Coke.”
“Wow! It’s surprising that you’re still alive! How old are you?”
“I’ll be 25 this year.”
MEAT HOOKS
A gambler walked into a butcher’s shop and told the butcher, “I bet you $500 that you can’t reach the meat hanging from those ceiling hooks!”
The butcher replied, “I’m not taking that bet.”
“Why not?”
“The steaks are too high.”
A KNOCK AT MIDNIGHT
It was the middle of the night. Suddenly there was a loud knocking on the doctor’s door, followed by a groan. The doctor angrily thrust his head out of the window. “WELL?” he shouted.
“No,” moaned the man. “Sick!”
JOKE OF THE WEEK
by Indradeep Giri
A husband writes to his wife:
Dear ____,
This month I could not earn much to send you. As a gesture of love I’m sending 100 kisses for you. Hope you can live with that. Take care,
Your Loving Husband.
In reply the wife wrote:
Dear ____,
Hope you are well. I’m giving you the account of kisses that you sent to me. I gave 20 to the shopkeeper whom I owe. I gave another 15 to my make-up man whom I owe a large sum of money, and another 25 to our grocer. Out of the remaining 40 I gave 15 to the tailor and another 25 to our landlord. Hoping to get some money next month from you. Love you,
Your Loving Wife.
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