(In Hindsight 38/Apr 20-25, 2010)
Last week the Chief Justice of India complained that people “only watch cricket during the nights without doing any work during daytime.” However, he concluded we must “let them go and watch cricket matches” because “we cannot do anything on this.”
Thus ended the dream of activist Subhash Dutta, who had been trying to get the court to intervene and reschedule night matches for the daytime, which might have prevented the country’s current energy shortage from getting worse. Well, he hasn’t entirely stopped dreaming: he says he will try again after the present CJI retires. By then, of course, the current crisis might degenerate into a no-current crisis; but that’s not my point.
Why are Indians so crazy about cricket? Partly because it’s one of the few spectator sports they’re good at. Could you imagine Sachin Tendulkar as a star player in the EPL instead of the IPL, darting up and down the field scoring goals? Pretty much impossible. Most Indians live closer to their heads than their legs: this is an advantage if you want to use you mind; but not to move your behind. In which other sports competition would feeble fogeys who retired years ago be among the top performers? When Kerry Packer invented floodlit cricket he said ‘Big boys play at night’ (nor must we forget that crickets tend to be noisy and nocturnal), but if the social butterflies are moth-eaten men then, under bright lights, they might get roasted.
Is sport, then, a waste of time? If you’re watching it rather than doing it, perhaps it is. Yet even then it can help the local economy, though the effect is small (and smaller still if no one works the next day). In any case, it’s no point hauling sportsmen or their supporters before a judge. As the chief beak shrieked, there’s not much we can do about it. In particular, don’t make a fool of yourself by going up to a tennis player and threatening to take him “to the court”!
While the energy crisis is a cause for concern, sports fans should also start thinking about their own low energy levels. Sitting stubbornly in front of a television set, or mulishly kicking off your shoes when others suggest a trip to the stadium, won’t help much. Well, actually making the supreme effort of travelling to the match venue won’t put joules in a mule either. You have to get your own ass moving, instead of trotting out red herrings. Otherwise you might end up like a fish out of water yourself.
If even a trip to the kitchen to fill your plate (or the bathroom to load the bowl) leaves you gasping for air, then the time to act is now. India was once reputedly a nation of starvation, but now obesity has reached epidemic proportions. In addition to this, South Asians are at greater risk of heart disease than any other regional population in the world. Mr. Dutta had argued in court that “this game of small ball can be played better in daylight”; but if things continue as they are then a greater worry might be the big balls that on close inspection turn out to be human couch potatoes.
How much money would I need to save for a holiday in the Caribbean?
More than the ant and the grasshopper put together.