(In Hindsight 43/Jul 6-11, 2010)
Football is much more than a game. Some countries stake their national pride and honour on the sport (which tells you how little of it they must have to begin with).
The North Korean regime, fearing their team might get thrashed at the World Cup, decided not to play with matches and to refrain from televising any until and unless the team won (i.e. never). However, after their competitive 1-2 loss to Brazil, their leader (who sports a better hairstyle than Beckham’s) used his head, possibly for the first time in years, and resolved to show their match against Portugal in real time to his loyal subjects.
North Korea got buried 0-7 in that match. Now there are reports that the team will be sent to the coal mines as punishment. From collecting goals to collecting coals is a steep decline. But it’s still better than what happened in 1966 when, after their 3-5 loss to Portugal, the North Koreans were reportedly sent to labour camps.
Nigeria’s president, Goodluck Jonathan, wanted to punish his luckless team by banning them from all international competition for two years. Still, that’s not as bad as being banished to the coal mines: and one hopes the poor North Koreans are let out before they start looking like the Nigerians.
The Italians weren’t expected to defend their title (although their country is shaped like a boot); yet after they got the boot, insults were hurled at the coach and players by some of their countrymen. Favourites Brazil had a goalkeeper named Júlio César (after Julius Caesar, in case you didn’t get it): however, after their exit wreaths weren’t placed on their heads, but rather their headstones. No, the last one’s an exaggeration–but failure at football is generally unacceptable anywhere (except in the United States, where they still have doubts about the game’s existence).
Well, even the labour camp incarceration of 1966 wasn’t as bad as the Football War fought three years later between Honduras and El Salvador, in which thousands of people died. Incidentally, El Salvador qualified for the 1970 World Cup; while Honduras made it to this year’s tournament without killing anyone, which is a sign of progress and gives us hope. These days there are few deaths–yet lots of football widows.
Why do people take football so seriously? Make no mistake about it: football is a substitute for war. As the most popular sport on a peaceful planet, it’s the one field where a nation can indisputably conquer the world. This is why the pressure at the quadrennial World Cup is so high; and only a handful of teams have ever won it; and it takes decades for a new team to win the trophy, playing with collective memory, gradually building their self-belief.
In a way the tournament has been almost an eighty-year world war that began in 1934: where old battles are never forgotten and thoughts of revenge lie in the heart for generations: where many get only a sole opportunity to eliminate or be eliminated: and the road is littered with the remains of poor marksmen who failed to take their chances.
Of course those flawed gods of the game, the referees, play no small part in this. Their decisions seem to favour the favourite teams, making it still more difficult for new champions to arise.
How come there are no comments on your nice blog? Is it that everyone is busy either watching WC or trying to find out who is going to be the winner? I am not very much inclined to watch these matches. But I agree to what you have described as Football wars. Pakistan may start preparing this game after some of the readers from that nation reads your article. You may also indicate this to Bongla Babus who are the best among Inidans in Football. Regards.
MG
Perhaps everyone is in the WC (water closet). And the octopus has retired to his aquarium, so there’s no way to tell what the future holds.